Irony of Ironies
by ImFearless
Summary: Andy's thoughts and actions after "Hot and Bothered".


A/N: Andy thinks about what happened in "Hot and Bothered", my own version.

Disclaimer: No own.

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I sigh and take another sip from my beer. I'm at the Penny, after Chris and I talked to Frank about Detective Bibby. Sam had acted so cold to me today. He said "It was what it was." And yeah, maybe it was what it was for him, but it was everything to me. He was everything. I went about this all wrong.

You see after I killed that man, I was home, crying, but not because I killed someone, it was because I knew that if I had hesitated for one second I would've been killed. The possibility of me dying, without Sam knowing how I felt, I couldn't take it. We have dangerous jobs, and I decided to tell Sam so that even if he rejects me, I'll have the peace of knowing he knows, and if anything happens to either of us, I'll know I have no regrets.

So I went to his house. Walking fast, eager for him to know. Eager for him to love me. When I get to the door I hesitant, then I see a flash of that man, dead, on the floor of the basement and knock hard, willing Sam to open the door, quickly. When he did, he looked so concerned, so caring that when he asked me, "Do you want to talk?" I said no; because I wanted to show him I love him, instead of tell him. Show him with all I have. When we got into his bedroom, he laid me down and started kissing my neck.

I was enjoying every little touch, caress, and kiss he gave me. Never more ready had I been to show someone how I felt. Then the room was suddenly bright and I could hear the air conditioner roaring to life, already working hard to cool the house. I tensed.

Sam got off me saying, "I should turn a few things off." And left the room.

That's when my cell started vibrating. Luke. If Sam and I are going to do this, I should break it off with Luke. And I know it's sort of rude to break up with someone over the phone, but I didn't want to have to leave.

I felt exposed in just my sports bra and jeans, so I searched for my shirt, slipping it over my head and onto me. It sounds silly but I didn't want to break up with Luke half-naked. Like he would magically know where I was and what I was about to do with Sam. And that was when Sam just had to walk back into the room. I saw it on his face, he thought I was leaving, that I was regretting it. Coming to him. Kissing him. But I didn't get a chance to tell him anything because he turned around and walked away.

I sank down to the bed behind me, and put my head into my hands. Taking a deep and calming breath, I got up to talk to Sam. I walked quietly down the hall, glancing quickly at as I passed the pictures on the walls.

Then I saw him again, he was getting a beer out of his fridge. He was still shirtless. I took another calming breath and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi." I said, standing in the doorway. When he heard my voice he stood up right. We stood, staring at each other. "Listen, Sam about what happened, it—"

"Forget it, it's all good." He cut me off, quickly.

"What do you mean?" Fear crept inside me, my worst nightmare about to come true.

"I mean, don't sweat it. It was fun, while it lasted. Right? No harm, no foul. Now you can run back to Callaghan and live happily ever after." By this time, I was in shock. He could have offended me less if he had slapped me in my face.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, blurring my vision. An anger came over me, as I watched Sam stand there. "You don't know what you're talking about. You really have no idea, at all." I wiped at my eyes. "Damn it, Sam!" I turned and made my way to the door, my walking turning into running when I stepped out of his house. When I arrived at home, sobs racked my body. As I mourn the loss of his touch. His kisses, his caresses. His everything.

I had the full intension of going to his house that night, telling him about my feelings and then leaving, I haven't planned on wanting him so bad when I saw him. I didn't plan to attack him with my lips. When I could finally breathe somewhat normally I went to take a shower. Letting the cool water run over me, relieving my very hot body. The one shot I had with Sam and I blew it. I made him believe I still wanted to be with Luke. God, what a stupid idea, _"I'm gonna tell Sam how I feel. I don't want to live with regrets."_

So much for living without regrets.

Whatever, in a hundred years, we'll all be dead anyway. What's the difference?

I take another sip of my beer, and glance over at Sam, talking to Detective Barber and Officer Shaw, with not a care in the world. Turning back I realize what a sad excuse I have for a life. My dad's a drunk, I never stop screwing up at my job, I broke up with Luke, and things with Sam have crashed and burned.

I guess things could be worse. At least I have friends and an apartment. But you never know, the way my life is going I might lose those too.

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A/N: The end. I hope everyone liked it. Please R/R. Any feedback is appreciated.


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